thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

(Source: kawhoru, via disagreed)

fullcabs:

fuck

(Source: aimlessme, via presidents-stripper)

jesuschristvevo:

i may look like im listening to music but really i have my volume on zero and im listening to everyones conversations because im a true spy kid

(via away-we-go-into-the-stars)

(Source: l-dispute, via neverlose-yourlove)

percypan:

THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45

(Source: percyo, via collide-with-the-sykes)

I suck at texting unless

• I am in a relationship with you
• You are my mom
• I need something
• Me and you are close as fuck

(Source: ahtnamasyay, via presidents-stripper)

staringattheedge-oftheworld:

chauvinistsushi:

bedhead-and-cigarettes:

finalblessing:

will smith everybody

he’s so aggressively proud and determined to direct attention to his wife and son. first he’s like, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY AND STRENGTH AND POWER AND SHE AGREED TO MARRY ME,  and then with his son, he’s like LOOK, I MADE A THING, AND I AM PROUD OF THIS THING THAT I MADE.

I MADE A THING

GUYS I FOUND THE THING

(via hail-vic-fuentes)

sardonicheight:

[[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]

(via ignorance-or-reality)